The unkindest cut of all.

We’re planning a surprise birthday party for my mother-in-law. The whole family has gotten involved and we’ve divided the chores and expense.

My sister-in-law and her husband are very busy with one kid in college and one in high school about to graduate. To top that off they care for my brother-in-law’s invalid mother.

When we divvy’ed up the duties, it was decided that they would handle the invitations, as they would be out of town during the time leading up to the party. The invitation that he designed did not meet with his wife’s (my sister-in-law’s) approval. To be honest it was creative but more suited to a children’s party.

We were asked for our input. Since I write for a living…I put all of my skills to bear on the project with help from my wife. We incorporated the theme of the decorations…”Aged to perfection!” into the invitation. It also included the caveat that this was a “very shrewd lady” so keep it a surprise.

We were told that it sounded too formal and that Mom might not like being referred to as shrewd. (Should I have said, “She’s not too bright, but let’s keep it a secret anyway, so she doesn’t catch on?”)

The upshot is that my wife is mad at her sister and I may have started a family feud.

First lesson learned: Always write at the 7th grade level or below. A college degree does not guarantee comprehension…or understanding of nuance. (Both of my in-laws have college degrees…my wife and I do not.)

Second lesson learned: Never ask family for a critique of your work. (On second thought…if they don’t get it, neither will your customer.)

Am I worried about my sister-in-law reading this post? Nah…if she didn’t understand “shrewd”, I guarantee she won’t understand nuance, comprehension, caveat, or any other words of more than one syllable.

P.S. If your degree is from the same school she went to…write and I’ll explain it to you.